Polaroids
lukys7en
First Words
Something in progress, got the rough ideas down into this.
I’d like to cut it down, and figure out more dynamics for the build, maybe strip down the first third with more space and opening up the last third to hit a bigger sound wall. I kind of like the feeling that the separate layers and textures could split apart from each other and build. So it’d be cool to flesh that out moving forward.
I usually just record my stuff on voice memos, so first time doing some multitracking. Don’t have a mic, just recorded everything rough off my laptop speakers.
Oh side note I totally forgot to take out the bass for the a cappella, oops.
Lyrics:
I thought I’d spent enough time alone
But it doesn’t seem to fill out much more than this
Everybody seems to need a little space from me
But only when I ask for it
How would we live together with our sad shoes and hideouts
Our locks on the doors, at least it seems that way
I’m sad again, don’t look at those pills on the table
Seems I’ve done it again, whatever that is
Somebody calls me to tell me why they’re not a bad friend
Somebody calls me to tell me why they’re not a bad friend
Turns out everybody wants something they need
Turns out I gave away the bottom floor for free
Wish these holes would close up missing teeth
I have no bite left, pull these things right out of me
All I wanted was a little bit of time to be afraid
All I wanted was a little bit of time to be afraid
Turns out everybody takes a little part of me
Turns out everybody turns around away from me
But they still have the nerve to ask for their polaroids
But they still have the nerve to ask for their polaroids
They’re not your friends, they’re not mine either
They’re not your friends, they’re not mine either
They’re not your friends, they’re not mine either
They’re not your friends, they’re not mine either
Looking for feedback on
Ideas for shaping the build would be cool
Discussion
EliasSZ March 24, 2023 10:12am
Really nice track – the subtle light arpeggiating line feels so distant and really magnifies the sad, dark sound. “All I wanted was a little bit of time to be afraid” is a great line.
FWIW, even though I know it may have been supposed to be a capella – the bass carrying through sounded really nice to me.
In terms of build, an interesting exercise can be looking at your song and thinking about what are the moments you experience as peaks and valleys, in a narrative sense, and what the moments you want to experience as peaks and valley currently are. From there, it can help see how you are achieving what you want (or if you are) in the current arrangement, if it feels like it should be adjusted, if you like something that’s happening unintentionally, etc.
nick March 15, 2023 2:26pm
good comments below, and kudos to you for attempting your first multi-track recording! like your last track, you’ve got a great natural strumming ability that fits your chord choices really well. curious which line you borrowed for this one—all of them work together cohesively, so well done there. also just realized @@Sam Pearce is sitting next to you in your pic. hey, sam.
daeclan March 13, 2023 10:26pm
notes: really dig the sounds and words–you’ve got a lot of good material here. i love the imagery this sound conjures, a darkened bedroom on a quiet empty night. “somebody calls me to tell me why they’re not a bad friend” oof, that one really resonates man. thanks for sharing this
re: shaping/cutting down – as an exercise, you could cut each lyrical section out and rearrange them into a natural crescendo (based on the audio levels on the file you shared) and then re-analyze the lyric sheet to see if there are sections you can cut or combine with others that feel natural and meaningful. that’s the benefit of having a lot of a good thing, you can tailor it down and fit your vision
nick March 15, 2023 2:21pm
well said!
Sam Pearce March 13, 2023 1:27pm
Love the addition of the second guitar track at “I’m sad again”. And the electric guitar at “somebody”. Thought I noticed additional tracks in my car but now I can hear it clearly in headphones. If you’re trying to cut it down, I still like the idea of ending on the words “But they still have the nerve to ask for their polaroids”, but maybe sing it four times instead of two. I think that line is strong enough to support more repetitions; or put more simply I wanted to hear it a couple more times. That bass break is nice has a similar effect to an a cappella break. This rocks! Might be my favorite of yours I’ve heard so far.